I’m sure most of you are familiar with the year that hell froze over, yes? Well cue the cartoon helicopter noises and …
SEE YA, 2020! Wouldn’t want to be ya.
Ok, OK, it’s penguins in a helicopter taking off. Perhaps you had to see the video. Regardless, I am ready to take off and get OUT of here.
Actually, since I couldn’t go see a ball drop or have a cocktail at my favorite coffee house or even climb the hill with my wife so we could watch the fireworks, I plopped in the scene from Star Trek: The Motion Picture where the Enterprise goes to warp (FAIR USE! or buy it here, director’s cut of course – ask me how I know) and the moment the Big E gave Einstein the finger, I held up my glass and said, “Fuck you, 2020!”
So anyway, 2020. Wasn’t so bad, by itself. I mean, yes, yes, for the world, but for me personally, 2019 had its own brass knuckles. I lost my mother in 2019 and worked my ass around over the margins of that, so I had kind of hoped 2020 would be an upswing. But, no, I got the zombie apocalypse and an even newer reorg to deal with, and by the end of it I’d lost my uncle Boo. So I’d love to say how horrible 2020 was, but for me personally, it felt like Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones – that is, a repeat, trying too hard, that went on too long. (And remember back when we thought 2016 was bad?)
Still, it wasn’t all bad. I got to participate in many conventions online, and to see friends from all over the world that I otherwise wouldn’t get to see. And it’s the year we saw some truly bizarre things occur in the world of media, such as this little oddity …
Actually, I might sign up to see a show about a gender-swapped Star Trek (oh wait that’s Star Trek Discovery OH SNAP I went there), but that’s neither here nor there. This was the year almost all responsible church services went online …
… and the year when we DID have socially distanced outdoor services, a police chase started in the background behind the priest during the Liturgy of the Eucharist. And hey, remember when this graph looked so bad? We didn’t know how good we had it!
It’s the year I learned the pomelo looks like a Lovecraftian monster on the inside …
(You eat it, it doesn’t eat you, I promise. Tastes like a sweeter version of a grapefruit.)
And last but not least, it’s the year I got this place put together the way I wanted it …
… and maybe the way other people wanted it too …
… only to have circumstances force me to take it apart again …
But, in all honesty, they were good circumstances, if a bit bittersweet. Hopefully the new place will start coming together soon …
So it wasn’t all bad. While I really do want to tell 2020 to bleep off because of work and the pandemic, here’s hoping that which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Still, what can I say? Hurry up, Aslan, we need you on the East Coast. Bring my wife and cats with you when you come. The other boxes can wait until the next trip.
-the Centaur