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Posts tagged as “Blogging Every Day”

[twenty twenty-five day two six nine]: it’s dangerous to slog alone, take this stack of textbooks

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So I wasn't kidding about the long slog: I am still chewing through the classic textbook Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning (PDF) by Christopher Bishop, day and night, even though he's got a newer book out. This is in part because I'm almost done, and in part because his newer book focuses on the foundations of deep learning and is "almost entirely non-Bayesian" - and it's Bayesian theory I'm trying to understand.

This, I think, is part of the discovery I've made recently about "deep learning" - by which I mean learning in depth by people, as opposed to deep learning by machines: hard concepts are by definition tough nuts to crack, and to really understand them, you need to hit them coming and going - to break apart the concept in as many ways as possible to ensure you can take it apart and put it back together again. As Marvin Minsky once said, "You don't understand anything until you learn it more than one way."

To some people, that idea is intuitive; to others, it is easy to dismiss. But if you think about it, when you're learning a subject you don't know, it's like going in blind. And like the parable of the blind men and the elephant - each of whom touched one part of an elephant and assumed they understood the whole - if you dig deeply into a narrow view of a subject, you can get a distorted view, like extrapolating a giant snake from an elephant's trunk, or a tall tree from its leg, or a wide fan from its ear, or a long rope from its tail.

Acting as if those bad assumptions were true could easily get you stomped on - or skewered, by the elephant's tusk, which is sharp like a spear.

So back to Bayesian theory. Now, what the hell is a "Bayes," some of you may ask? (Why are you reviewing the obvious, others of you may snark). Look, we take chances every day, don't we? And we blame ourselves for making a mistake if we know that something is risky, but not so much if we don't know what we don't know - even though we intuitively know that the underlying chances aren't affected by what we know. Well, Thomas Bayes not only understood that, he built a framework to put that on a solid mathematical footing.

Some people think that Bayes' work on probability was trying to refute Hume's argument against miracles, though that connection is disputed (pdf). But the big dispute that arose was between "frequentists" who want to reduce probability to statistics, and "Bayesians" who represent probability as a statement of beliefs. Frequentists incorrectly argued that Bayesian theory was somehow "subjective", and tried to replace Bayesian reasoning with statistical analyses of imaginary projections of existing data out to idealized collections of objects which don't exist. Bayesians, in contrast, recognize that Bayes' Theorem is, well, a theorem, and we can use it to make objective statements of the predictions we can make over different statements of belief - statements which are often hidden in frequentist theory as unstated assumptions.

Now, I snark a bit about frequentist theory there - and not just because the most extreme statements of frequentist theory are objectively wrong, but because some frequentist mathematicians around the first half of the twentieth century engaged in some really shitty behavior which set mathematical progress back decades - but even the arch-Bayesian, E. T. Jaynes, retreated from his dislike of frequentist theory. In his perspective, frequentist methods are how we check the outcome of Bayesian work, and Bayesian theory is how we justify and prove the mathematical structure of frequentist methods. They're a synergy of approaches, and I use frequentism and the tools of frequentists in my research, um, frequently.

But my point, and I did have one, is that even something I thought I understood well is something that I could learn more about. Case in point was not, originally, what I learned about frequentism and Bayesianism a while back; it was what I learned about principal component analysis (PCA) at the session where I took the picture. (I was about to write "last night", but, even though this is a "blogging every day" post, due to me getting interrupted when I was trying to post, this was a few days ago).

PCA is another one of those fancy math terms for a simple idea: you can improve your understanding by figuring out what you should focus on. Imagine you're firing cannon, and you want to figure out where the cannonballs are going to land. There are all sorts of factors that affect this: the direction of the wind, the presence of rain, even thermal noise in the cannon if you wanted to be super precise. But the most important variables in figuring out where the cannonball is going to land is where you're aiming the thing! Unless you're standing on Larry Niven's We Made It in the windy season, you should be far more worried about where the cannon is pointed than the way the wind blows.

PCA is a mathematical tool to help you figure that out by reducing a vast number of variables down to just a small number - usually two or three dimensions so humans can literally visualize it on a graph or in a tank. And PCA has an elegant mathematical formalism in terms of vectors and matrix math which is taught in schools. But it turns out there's an even more elegant Bayesian formalism which models PCA as a process based on "latent" variables, which you can think about as the underlying process behind the variables we observe - using our cannonball example, that process is again "where they're aiming the thing," even if we ultimately just observe where the cannonballs land.

Bayesian PCA is equivalent (you can recover the original PCA formalism from it easily) and elegant (it provides a natural explanation of the dimensions PCA finds as the largest sources of variance) and extensible (you can easily adapt the number of dimensions to the data) and efficient (if you know you just want a few dimensions, you can approximate it with something called the expectation-maximization algorithm, which is way more efficient than the matrix alternative). All that is well and good.

But I don't think I could have even really understood all that if I hadn't already seen PCA in half a dozen other textbooks. The technique is so useful, and demonstrations about it are so illuminating, that I felt I had seen it before - so when Bishop cracked open his Bayesian formulation, I didn't feel like I was just reading line noise. Because, let me tell you, the first time I read a statistical proof, it often feels like line noise.

But this time, I didn't feel that way.

I often try to tackle new problems by digging deep into one book at a time. And I've certainly learned from doing that. But often, after you slog through a whole textbook, it's hard to keep everything you've learned in your head (especially if you don't have several spare weeks to work through all the end-of-chapter exercises, which is a situation I find myself in more often than not).

But more recently I have found going through books in parallel has really helped me. Concepts that one book flies over are dealt with deeply in another. Concepts that another book provides one angle on are tackled from a completely different one in another. Sometimes the meaning and value of concepts are different between different authors. Even intro books sometimes provide crucial perspective that helps you understand some other, deeper text.

So if you're digging into something difficult ... don't try to go it alone. When you reach a tough part, don't give up, search out other references to help you. At first it may seem an impossible nut to crack, but someone, somewhere, may have found the words that will help you understand.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Again Bishop, and again pound cake.

[twenty twenty-five day two six eight]: the long, long slog

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I once told my wife I was patient - and it was indeed four years from our first meeting to our marriage - but the truth of the matter is that I'm terrible at delayed gratification. I have a kazillion things I want to do and I want them all done now, now, now - but if these things I want done are MY creative projects, then I can't really hire anyone else to do them. I've got to do them myself.

This is a big bottleneck if I haven't yet learned the skill to my own satisfaction.

I've talked before about one of the techniques I use - reading the difficult book at the dinner table. I eat out a lot, and do a lot of my reading either in coffeehouses, at dinnertime, or sitting on a rocking chair near my house. But those places are useful for books that can be read in pieces, in any order. At the dinner table, I have one book set aside - usually the most difficult or challenging thing I am reading, a book which I take in a little bit at breakfast, a little bit at late night milk and pound cake, one bite-sized step at a time.

At the dinner table, I have read Wolfram's A New Kind of Science and Davies' Machine Vision and Jayne's Probability Theory: The Logic of Science and even an old calculus textbook from college that I was convinced I had failed to fully understand on the first readthrough (hint: I hadn't; I had inadvertently skipped one part of a chapter which unlocked a lot of calculus for me). And now I'm going through Bishop's Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning, which has taught me much that I missed about deep learning.

Here's the thing: having gone through (most of) two whole probability textbooks and a calculus textbook that I read to help support the probability textbooks, I no longer feel as unexpert about probability as I once did. It was my worst subject in college, hands down, but I have reached the point where I understand what I did not understand and why I didn't understand it, I know how to solve certain problems that I care about, I know where to look to get help on problems that I can't solve, and I have realized the need to be humble about problems that are currently beyond my framework of understanding.

[Whew! I almost said "I have learned to be humble" there. Ha! No, I don't think you can really learn to actually be humble. You can however learn the need to be humble and then try to achieve it, but humility is one thing that it is really difficult to actually have - and if you claim you have it, you probably don't.]

Now, I know this seems obvious. I know, I know, I know, if you read a buncha textbooks on something and are actually trying to learn, you should get better at it. But my experience is that just reading a textbook doesn't actually make you any kind of expert. At best, it can give you a slightly better picture of the subject area. You can't easily train yourself up for something quickly - you've got to build up the framework of knowledge that you can then use to actually learn the skill.

Which can lead you to despair. It feels like you read a buncha textbooks about something and end up more or less where you started, minus the time you spent reading the textbooks.

But that's only because the process of learning something complex can indeed be a really long slog.

If you keep at it, long enough, you can make progress.

You just have to be patient ... with yourself.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning by Bishop, sitting next to my breakfast a few days ago.

[twenty twenty-five day two six seven]: living in a vegan paradise

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Anyone who knows Greenville, South Carolina would NOT describe it as a "vegan paradise". The closest place I can think of that fits that description is Las Vegas, which explicitly features vegan and vegetarian dining thanks to Steve Wynn ( https://www.wynnlasvegas.com/dining/vegetarian-dining ). Asheville, North Carolina, Montreal in Canada, and the San Francisco Bay Area are neck-and-neck behind.

Greenville? I'd snarkily say "not so much", but actually my home town has a fair share of vegan restaurants (Sunbelly, the Naked Vegan, and the Vegan Farmercy come to mind), as well as those which have a vegan menu (Entre Nous / Maestro, the 07, the 05, and the One 5 leap to mind). But actually we live in a time where many restaurants have vegan options, including our favorite, Brixx.

Veganism is an ethical necessity for some, but a luxury for most of us: most humans have not lived in an environment in which they could choose to go vegan even if they wanted to. Fortunately, even in traditional Greenville, South Carolina, we've reached the point where many places have a vast selection of vegan food items, and me and my wife can have a meal together, entirely cruelty-free.

-the Centaur

Pictured: hummus trio at Brixx.

[twenty twenty-five day two six six]: gracious to simply say thank you

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I think I've mentioned before that I once got into an argument with a friend over whether you should complain about something you got for free. My friend said, "If someone buys you a steak, you don't complain about how well it was done, you just say thank you." No, that's how bullies give gifts: with the expectation that they can unilaterally create a debt with an expectation of gratitude.

In real life, it is, of course, gracious to simply say thank you when you receive a gift, even it isn't something that you wanted - or, even if it is not something you approve of. For example, my wife, who is vegan, used to simply smile and say thank you if she has been given something that she would not normally eat, because she's an ethical vegan: the animal has already died, so she would rather it not go to waste.

But she's found herself doing that less and less: some non-vegan food makes her sick, some non-vegan food simply doesn't taste good anymore, and, some non-vegan people are just being dicks. Once we went to a friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner, and they assured her that there would be many vegan options; when we got there, the only thing that was vegan was salad, no dressing, and they literally told her to "suck it up."

The entitlement of the giver gets drawn into even sharper relief when it comes to food allergies. More than one friend has ended up sick because waitstaff lied about what was in their food - and I do mean lied, because in more than one case they specifically asked about it, and then when the food arrived the waitstaff said something like, "but it's chopped up finely, you'll never taste it." Taste isn't the problem, buddy.

But bad actors do not fill the whole world, and the positive side to my friend's argument is that if someone has done something nice for you, it can ruin their day to find out that their extra effort wasn't wanted. Case in point is what C. S. Lewis called "the gluttony of delicacy": where you're super particular about what you want, but don't see it as being demanding or gluttonous because you're "not asking for much."

For example, I hate for stuff to go to waste, and don't use straws, or lemons, in my iced tea, so I ask waitstaff for "unsweetened iced tea, no lemon, no straw." Now, I don't really sweet tea anymore---originally for health and now for taste reasons---so I would send the wrong drink back; but if they give me a lemon and straw, I don't say anything. Thankfully, results from NASA's space probes show the Earth rests on the back of a giant turtle, not a giant camel, so hopefully, getting one extra straw will not cause the end of the world. (1)

But not wanting things to go to waste can ... interact ... with generosity. Another case in point: hot peppers. At one restaurant I go to, you can ask for a little extra sauce, or light cheese, or whatever, and it will happen. At another local restaurant, the kitchen is a little more ... granular with their generosity. I asked for an extra hot pepper on a dish ... and the kitchen sent out an entire plate of extra peppers.

My server buddy always knows what's up and once warned me: "you know, for this kitchen ... let's not make the order too complicated." So we try to keep things simple for them. They've got our best interests at heart. And when they do send out an entire plate of hot peppers when I want just one, I smile and say thank you, and do my best to eat as many of them as I can ... before my mouth catches on fire. (2)

-the Centaur

Pictured: Bistec y camarones con pimientos adicionales.

(1) NASA results actually show that neither oversized tortoises nor dromedaries play any significant astronomical role, making the apocalyptic potential of extra drinking straws even more remote.

(2) I did not, indeed, finish the entire plate of peppers - there were like 200% more peppers than I wanted.

[twenty twenty-five day two sixty five]: can’t see me

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Cats are so colorful and varied it's easy to forget that part of the function of coloring is camouflage. I almost didn't see this little gal sitting in our front foyer! But the camera never lies:

Meet Lovi(licious(ness)), the fifth member of our increasing series of L-named cats. This little lady started coming round our house in San Jose, and after Sandi started feeding her, she soon won her over (it is not clear who won whom over). Sandi welcomed her inside, where Lovi started using the litter box like a pro. We suspect she was someone's kitten who was scared away from their home by fireworks at the Fourth of July, and after unsuccessfully attempting to find her owners, Sandi brought her back to South Carolina.

Crazy cat people here we come.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Um, I said it: our new cat, in our new foyer, trying, unsuccessfully, to hide.

with bread, please

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Speaking as a technically-oriented software engineer who's built some pretty crappy interfaces in my day, it continues to surprise me that people build interfaces without thinking through how people will use them.

For example, Panera Bread has a "you pick two" order, where you can get two half-orders of a sandwich, salad or soup, along with a side like bread, chips or fruit. One would naturally think that the interface where the cashiers would enter your order would allow you to specify the two halves, then the side. Logical, yes?

But if you order that way, the cashiers often seem a little thrown off. And if you give your order slowly - rather than just rattle it off because you've probably ordered it a thousand times at this point - they'll ask a stereotyped series of questions which I impute are being presented in this order by the interface:

  • (1) Is this for here or to go?
  • (2) What do you want on your You Pick Two?
  • (3) Would you like anything to drink?
  • (4) What do you want as your side?

Now, note that a You Pick Two doesn't come with a drink (like Captain D's or Chic-Fil-A's value meals). So the interface. The drink isn't part of the You Pick Two order. Yet if you try to specify your side, the cashiers will have to do a little fiddling in the interface. It's easier just to present information in the order above:

"(1) This is for here. (2) I'd like a You Pick Two, with (2a) a Bacon Turkey Bravo and (2b) a Strawberry Poppyseed (2b1) with Chicken Salad. (3) I'll take a large beverage. (4) Bread as the side. (5) [wait 5 seconds] I don't need the cup - I already have a to-go cup, I just need to pay for the drink."

Note that in (2b1), even though the Strawberry Poppyseed salad normally has chicken on it, if you don't specifically emphasize the fact that it has chicken, sometimes they'll ask if you want to leave it off, and in (5) you have to wait 5 seconds for them to complete the order, or they may delete the drink.

[Why insist on paying for the drink? Because I eat out a lot, and use insulated to-go cups to save on the waste of buying and discarding a cup once or twice a day. But once I was at Panera in Campbell and the Panera district manager complained to me that if I was using a to-go mug I should be paying for my drink. I insisted that I did and showed my receipt ... and found the cashier had taken the drink off the order without telling me. The manager took my word for it, but it made me feel both embarrassed and unwelcome, which is not why I go out to eat - I have work to do, damn it, and need to do my reading in a place where I can't be distracted by doing laundry or whatever - so I always insist on paying for my drink.]

Anyhoo, weirdness of interfaces can be found everywhere. Just today, I was trying to log into a website, and the website authors had put the login button in a popup that disappeared when you hovered over it. Presumably it was meant to go away if you didn't click on it, but the actual effect was, you couldn't log in on the company's home page and had to hunt through pages to find a login button that was a real button.

As another example, the interface for AT&T's voicemail in my area recently changed. Instead of saying "end of message" and giving you an opportunity to delete a message, it just goes straight to "saving message", which means if you got a spam call which hung up rapidly - and silently - there's no way to delete the message before it gets saved. If you try, it will delete the next message in your messages. So this "update" is strictly worse than the previous interface, making you hear each message a minimum of twice.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say here is, don't fall in love with your new interface before thinking through - and testing out - how people will actually use it, OR, as we used to say back in my day:

Old man rants at cloud.

-the centaur

not dead …

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... but ICRA, Con Carolinas, and CVPR are all now over, so I can breathe again.

More in a bit as I start to dig myself out of the piles ....

-the Centaur

Pictured: Bacon Turkey Bravo and Strawberry Poppyseed with Chicken Salad, at Panera, my fave lunch.

[twenty twenty-five day one oh four]: mischief in three … two … one …

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Almost fifteen years later, with a completely different set of cats who have not had a chance to learn these behaviors from the previous ones, it's somewhat comforting to see that cats do still remain cats.

gabby 5 seconds before whapping caesar just as he relaxes

Although the location of the malefactors has swapped from top to bottom ...

-the Centaur

Pictured: Loki above, being awoken from sleep by harassing kittens below; Gabby above, about to harass the sleeping Caesar below.

[twenty twenty-five day one oh three]: delicious but not healthy

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Chicken and waffles with a side of bacon at Nose Dive in downtown Greenville. Not healthy or delicious --- but as for that recent research that suggests that increased hunger leads to less healthy food choices, well, I can attest to its validity within the framework of my own personal experience.

-the Centaur

[twenty twenty-five day one oh two]: healthy and delicious

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One of the things I like about vegan food is that it can be both healthy and delicious. This is a vegetarian burrito from La Parilla - no cheese, no sour cream, extra mushrooms. As far as I know, this was a suffering-free burrito, and the most unhealthy thing about it was the tortilla, which isn't unhealthy per se, but is just one of the foodstuffs that we can easily get too much of in our modern environment.

As for the chips and margarita (not shown)? Well, they're vegan, as far as I know, but healthy, not so much. I'm not sure James Willett would approve, but they are delicious.

-the Centaur

[backfilling twenty twenty-five day one oh oh]: still seeking the perfect tomato sandwich

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This one is kind of a BLT, with the Bacon replaced with vegan cold cuts (I have vegan bacon, but I wanted to finish going through the cold cuts first). The base is an heirloom tomato, cut into two big slices, with the remainder roughly chunked to make an ersatz tomato salad:

The tomato slices are seasoned with garlic salt, dill, Italian seasoning (or parsley, oregano, and basil) and maybe nutritional yeast; the chunks are seasoned with salt, pepper, and Old Bay or Tony Chachere seasoning and maybe some flavored olive oil (this last time, basil and sundried tomato olive oil).

I toast Nature's Own Artisan Multigrain Bread, then add a thin layer of veganaise seasoned with dill, onion powder, garlic powder, and tarragon. Atop this, you layer to taste cold cuts or bacon, cheese, tomato, and lettuce (two layers of tomato when I skip the cold cuts and/or bacon).

The outcome is pretty delicious.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Shots from two different days of making these sandwiches patched awkwardly together, so if you notice the bloody handprint on Kirk's vest moving up and down in these shots, that's why.

[backfilling twenty twenty-five day ninety-nine]: all cats, all the time

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So for a while all three of the kittens were a little skittish around me. Not that they didn't want to hang out, but especially when I would take a trip or something they'd get standoffish, hanging out more with my wife.

I do believe they have now "warmed up" to me.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Me taking a much-needed break from projects, and then attracting two (or three?) kittens. On that note, I was going to post this but got swarmed with work, taxes, writing, cleaning, and what have you, but I am not going to give up on posting every day this year, even if I have to backfill to get caught up.

[twenty twenty-five day one oh one]: there … are … four … cats!

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Lily, the collared one, chose to hide when a friend came by today, so they never saw more than three cats at any one time. With apologies to Captain Picard, here is visual proof that there are, indeed, four cats.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Top to bottom: Loli, Lili, Loki, Luna.

[twenty twenty-five day ninety-eight]: the appearance of done doesn’t mean you did it right

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One by one, trees and bushes on our property have been dying. The property is large - when we fled the fires in California during the pandemic, we lucked out in finding a large place that had been on the market for quite a while - so at first we thought that was simply par for the course. But they kept dying.

Eventually, what we discovered is that many of the trees on the property were planted without the removal of their transport cages. This can cause the roots to get choked, to turn back on themselves, and as the tree grows, the increasingly packed root ball topped by the increasingly heavy tree turns into a weighted ball bearing, waiting to tip over in heavy winds, heavy rain, or just from the tree's own starved weight.

But it's easier to not remove it, the problem is practically invisible, and the tree looks good for a while - and by the time the tree falls, it will be almost impossible to identify who made the initial mistake.

This is a beautiful house on beautiful land, but many of the things in this house are like that. Trees are planted with their transport cages still on, so they eventually fall over. Gutter drains were buried without covering them with fabric, so they fill with dirt. Soil pipes are buried without cleanouts. Drywall in access rooms has random holes punched in it.

And, most spectacularly, a door was installed in a storage room which was too small for the safe stored in that room to be removed. I mean, what were they thinking? I guess they weren't - or, perhaps that was a security feature, to prevent it from being stolen? Certainly, you can't sneak it out of the room, but, also, it likely weighs around a ton, so no-one can run off with it - they didn't need to wall it in.

But, regardless, hey! We get a safe.

Now, we were dealing with the problem with our drains, and the foreman told us he'd need to take up the last man standing in a row of bushes near one of the drains. These had been dying, one or two per year, since we arrived, and the last one was literally held together with zipties. So I agreed.

And when he dug it up, he found that it - and all the bushes in that row - had cages on their root barrels. You can see him holding one of these in the banner image from this post. The root system was so tight inside it that he was surprised that it had survived that long.

So my point, and I did have one, is that doing a job that looks right from the outside may not be doing it well enough for the job to be done right. And right, in this case, I define as not failing unexpectedly long before its time because someone simply didn't want to finish the work.

I suspect that the people who managed this properly previously were focused on forcing it, no matter how much money it took. As my wife put it, you put in a lawn, let it grow, then cut that growth and take all the nutrients that it harvested out of the soil away, forcing you to fertilize the lawn with chemicals to keep it alive. You can do that, but it's like driving down a mountain road at too high a speed, constantly riding the wheel, brakes and accelerator to keep yourself on the road. We prefer a healthier approach, where, when possible, things are left to biodegrade where they are, or you create compost out of the clipping.

That doesn't always work, and, in a way, it's a luxury all its own. But regardless of how you run your lawn, if you take the time to cut the root balls off and to properly wrap your drains, you'll find yourself spending less money in the long run fixing problems that should never have happened in the first place.

-the Centaur

Pictured: The cage that our foreman discovered once they dug up the bush, and the gutter downspout drain that our foreman replaced for us once we all figured out what drains needed to be replaced.

[twenty twenty-five day ninety-seven]: the biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it took place

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So, yes, it's late and i'm tired, but i couldn't just leave it at that, because the above quote is so good. I ran across this from George Bernard Shaw in a book on mentoring (which I can't access now, due to cat wrangling) and snapped that picture to send to my wife. In case it's hard to read, the quote goes:

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

This was a great quote to send to my wife because our first vow is communication, yet we have observed problems with communication a lot. Often, when the two of us think we are on the same page, frequently we have each communicated to each other something different using similar-sounding language.

I was struck by how hard it is to get this right, even conceptually, when I was skimming The Geometry of Meaning, a book I recently acquired at a used bookstore, which talks about something called something like a "semantic transfer function" (again, I can't look up the precise wording right now as I am cat wrangling). But the basic idea presented is that you can define a function describing how the meaning that is said by one person is transformed into the meaning that is heard by another.

If you pay attention to how communication fails, it becomes clear how idealized - how ultimately wrongheaded - it is. Because you may have some idea in your head, but you had some reason to communicate it as a speech act, and something you wanted to accomplish inside the hearer's head - but there's no guaranteed that what you said is what you meant, and much less whether what was heard was what was said, or whether the interpretation matched what was heard, much less said or meant.

But even if they took your meaning - even if the semantic transfer function worked perfectly to deliver a message, there is no guarantee that that the information that is delivered will cause the appropriate cognitive move in the hearer's brain. Perhaps we're all familiar with the frustration of trying to communicate an inconveniently true fact to someone who stubbornly won't absorb it because it's politically inconvenient for them, but the matter is worse if your speech was designed to prompt some action - as Loki and one of the kittens just found out, when he tried to communicate "stop messing with me, you're half my size, you little putz" as a speech act to get the kitten to leave him alone. It had the opposite effect, and the kitten knocked itself onto the floor when it tried to engage a sixteen-pound ball of fur and muscle.

So what does that have to do with drainage?

My wife and I have had a number of miscommunications about the cats recently, ones where we realized that we were using the same words to talk about different things, and didn't end up doing things the way each other wanted. But it isn't just us. The cats stayed indoors mostly today, because workmen came by to work on a drainage project. I went out to sync up with the foreman about adding a bit to the next phase of work, and he offhandedly said, "sure, now that we're finished with the front."

"But wait," I said. "What about the drains in the front?"

"What drains in the front?" he asked.

We stared at each other blankly for a moment, then walked around the house. It rapidly became clear that even though we had used the same words to talk about the same job related to the same problem - excess water tearing through the mulch - we had meant two completely different things by it: I had meant fixing the clogged drains of the downspout of the gutter that were the source of the water, and he had took that to mean fixing the clogged drains where that water flowed out into the rest of the yard. A rainstorm soon started, and we were able to both look at the problem directly and agree what needed to be fixed. (The below picture was from later in the night, from another drain that was clogged and in need of repair).

It turns out the things that I wanted fixed - the things that had prompted me to get the job done in the first place - were so trivial that he threw them into the job at no extra cost. And the things that the foreman had focused on fixing, which also needed to be fixed but didn't seem that important from the outside, were actually huge jobs indicative of a major mis-step on the original installation of the drainage system.

We resolved it, but it took us repeatedly syncing up, listening for issues as we spoke, and checking back with each other - in both directions - when things didn't sound quite right for us to first notice and then resolve the problem. Which is why I found it so apropos to come across that Shaw quote (which I can look up now that the cats have settled down, it's in The Coaching Habit) as it illustrated everything me and my wife had been noticing about this very problem.

Just because you've said the words doesn't mean they were heard. And just because they're said back to you correctly doesn't mean that the hearer actually heard you. If you spoke to prompt action, then it's important to check back in with the actor and make sure that they're doing what you wanted them to - and even if they're not, it's important to figure out whether the difference is their problem - or is on your end, because you haven't actually understood what was involved in what you asked them to do.

So, yeah. The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place - so rather than trust the illusion in your mind, take some time to verify the facts on the ground.

-the Centaur

Pictured: "Shaw!", obstreperous cats, and a malfunctioning drain.

[twenty twenty-five day sixty-eight]: step by step

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So I habitually bite off more than I can chew: at any given time I have 200 to 250 projects running, and no reasonable human being can keep on top of more than seven plus or minus two things at once.

Now, I know, I know, I know, I'm likely autistic, and am prompted to be WAY more explicit than most people about the projects that I'm ACTUALLY doing, whereas most people just fool themselves into thinking they're doing a few things when in reality they're relying on their well-trained autonomic adulting skills to keep on top of the dozens upon dozens of things they need to do to keep on top of just living. But, beyond, that, I have hundreds of creative projects that I want to tackle, so many that I often feel like I'm thrashing.

But if you focus - again, I know, I know, I know, I say I hate focus, and that focus is the enemy, but bear with me for a bit - I say, if you allow yourself to be creative, and imagine ALL the things you might be doing ... BUT then focus on a few of them at once, trying to make sure you make progress on just those, you can, step by step, move your way through those projects, get them done, and move on to the next ones.

I've been "reading and eating" for decades now as my way of consuming material, but only recently have I started using the "ten page rule," in which I break each chapter into ten page sections, and try to make sure I get through at least 5 pages of a section in each reading session (the whole ten, or to end of chapter, if the material is easy, or the book's pages are small, or the chapters are short; the five page grace period if it's a big fat textbook filled with details with which I am unfamiliar). But I've augmented that now - by focusing on the most important books first, promising myself I can read the others if I get through them. I'm almost done with Large Language Models: A Deep Dive, which has been very illuminating.

And now I've built on that, so at the end of the day, after reading my "chunk of the hard book at night with milk and pound cake" - which is usually a big fat textbook that requires reading and re-reading of sections over and over again until I get it - I say, after that, I pick up a by-the-bedstand novel and read a chapter. Just one chapter (again, less if it is big long fat chapters or something esoteric). I've gotten through The Cthulhu Casebook: Sherlock Holmes and the Shadwell Shadows and Cthulhu Passant that way and am now digging deeper into my novel backlog, promising myself I can by more books as I finish them.

The same thing has been going on with various of my research projects: I have been building out various pieces of software, sometimes with a lot of thrashing. But I stuck with a project I had been tempted to abandon, and today got it mostly working, all unit tests passing, all code checked in and pushed to Github. I still have more features I want to add before release ... but it felt good.

While I don't believe in "focus" for focus's sake, I do believe focus is a tool you can use effectively. And if you prioritize your highest-value, lowest-remaining-work projects, and focus on getting done the next thing you have to do, you can, over time, walk that path that starts with a single step, and find yourself a thousand miles later standing atop your mountain.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Eating, and reading, at Panera.

[twenty twenty-four day sixty-seven]: a month, week, and day ahead

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So! Earlier I said I wanted to build up a buffer for "Drawing Every Day", but that complicated formula "30(m + 1) + d + 2" - a month and a couple of days ahead, computed by adding 1 to the month, multiplying by 30, adding the days, and adding 2 - neither "felt right" nor left me feeling secure in my "aheadness".

I had planned to work on my backlog from 2024 when additional 2025 drawings would have taken me over the magic number "30(m + 1) + d + 2", but it didn't feel right, and the work I had to do to catch up when I missed a day bothered me.

Then I realized I shouldn't be shooting for a month and a couple days ahead ... it should be more like a week. "30(m +1) + d + 7" (or "+ w") would give me a whole week to catch up. In fact, if I pushed it a bit further - getting a month, a week, and a day ahead - then even if I missed a day, I'd be a week ahead. Even if I missed a WEEK, I'd be a MONTH ahead. And if I missed a month ... I'd still have a week and a day.

If you get behind with that much buffer, it's all on you, baby.

I like this. A month, a week, and a day is easy to remember - and easy to compute, even though "30(m +1) + d + 7 +1" looks just as complicated as it was before, it's cognitively easier to process because it's all broken up into a sequence of simple operations that are easy to remember.

Now, next up ... blogging ahead! Let's start with just +1 ... this one.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Welp, I wanted a picture of my drawing context, but, hey, here's me reading at the great Green Lettuce restaurant, which has a nice high-topped counter and awesome decor, food and staff.

[twenty twenty-five day sixty-six]: now this is real progress

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Normally Loki hates eating around the kittens, or they're so interested in his food that they ignore their own and cause him to stalk off in a huff - "Ruuude, duuude!"

But they're getting over it - I had to move a kitten, but after I did, the system remained stable for the remainder of the meal.

Baby steps are short, but they can carry you down a long road, if you just keep going.

-the Centaur

[twenty twenty-five day sixty-five]:i think they’re acclimating

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So our older cat and our younger cats seem to be tolerating each other more. Actually, the kittens have loved Loki from the start, but he had been solitary for so long that he didn't want any new cats in his home, thank you very much. Now he willingly goes into areas which have kittens, which is a big improvement.

As I keep saying, sooner or later he's going to learn that nothing bad happens when he hangs out with kittens.

-Anthony

P.S. A blogpost a day late, but, eh, we'll get there.